I hate exercising

            'The miracle is not that I finished, but rather,

 that I had the courage to even start. ' - Jennism

    I hate exercising!  There, I said it.  Now, let me tell you why.  If you have not read any of my other posts, you have missed the part of knowing that I am a chronic pain sufferer.  I have: 8 herniated discs in my back, plantar facitis in both heels, arthritis in both knees , chronic head-aches, and I have gout in my left toe. 

   Suffice-it-to-say, all of these ailments leave me feeling such as you would when you have the flu with aches and pains so severe that it hurts even to breathe – that is how I feel every day.  Moreover, because I suffer from kidney disease, I am not allowed to take pain medications, and so I must ‘mind-over-matter’ the pain.

   While it would be soooooo easy to become a slug and not exercise, I know that I simply have to.  Not because I want to become a hard bodied athlete, or because I want to be a size 0, but because I know that being over-weight is not healthy for my kidneys.  Thus, as with my diet, I do it for purely health reasons.

   Up until 1999 I was exercising 5-7 times a week … and very proud of that too.  I was seeing a trainer several times a week to keep me motivated and help me work-out through the pain, and in a manner that I would not re-injure my back. And for the rest of the week I was doing cardio etc. on my own.

   Then, in 1999 I went back to school full time, and I stopped working out.  And, I have not really gotten back into a regular routine of exercising – OK, in truth, I  have let weeks go by without exercising.  I feel so guilty for being lazy.  And while you may forgive me this due to my chronic pain issues, I cannot join you there … I feel horrible.

   So friends, as of yesterday, I met my nemesis the treadmill, and we had a go at it.  With the gout in my toe still being painful, I didn’t want to stress it too much, so I walked as briskly as I could and for 20 minutes!!! 

   Now, I have to tell you, after I finish my cardio, I am not in a state-of-mind where I want to ring up Buddha, and when he  answers, say, "You want to talk about contentment?"


   Exercising simply does not make me feel amazing.   It usually aggravates  my pain, and I feel tired afterwards.   However, where I do find my nirvana is in the knowledge that on this day, I did not let my body win … rather, I was  'jen-the-conqueror'.  

   So, with a new year ahead of me, my 2012 promise to myself is to do cardio 3 times a week and incorporate 1 pilates class once a week.  And while I hate cardio, I actually love pilates as it is a wonderful way to work your body effectively and safely.


   I am starting with a reasonable goal for cardio as I want to set myself up for success, and I know getting me to the gym 5 times a week is not going to happen after a 3 year hiatus.  I have to workup to that … and maybe 3 times a week will even be enough.  In any case, I feel emotionally amazing when I am 'jen-the-conqueror'.

Ox Jen

And may your day exceed your expectations